Friday, July 31, 2015

Rock Show Culture

I've been going to rock shows since I was 13.  I've learned over the past 8 years that there is a specific set of rules one must follow when planning on attending a show.  Frankly, I feel like there are lots of people who are either forgetting the rules or never learned them-- so these are for you.

Rule #1: Attire
It's the day of the concert and you're overwhelmingly excited.  You're going to see your favorite band play live!  I understand, it's a thrilling idea.  However, do NOT wear a t-shirt with the band's name on it.  We all know you're a fan because you spent 40 dollars on a ticket to watch them play.  Wearing their name on your clothes is just overkill.

Rule #2: Line Etiquette
This is something you learn in kindergarten.  There's even a charming rhyme about this one simple rule: "No cuts, no buts, no coconuts." Seriously, it's just common courtesy.  Don't save spots in the line for your 5 friends who won't be showing up until an hour before the show.  The group behind you has probably been in line for 12 hours, so by saving spots, there's a possibility that you're ruining someone else's chance of getting barricade, making their effort pointless.  

Rule #3: Line Waiting
If you are staying the night outside the venue, you must make fun of the people who brought a tent, because they are less hardcore than you.  Although you may secretly be jealous of the fact that they have something to hide under from the rain while you're sleeping on the sidewalk, soaking wet and freezing.

Rule #4: Before the Doors Open
Your heart is racing.  There is one hour until they let you in the venue.  One person from your group must run to the car and put away all of your blankets, snacks, pillows and jackets.  Now one by one, make sure to run to the nearest McDonald's for the restroom because once you're on barricade, there's no potty breaks until the show is over.  This is prime time for people to try and cut in front of you in line.  Stand your ground.  Don't be afraid to be an asshole.

Rule #5: Entering the Venue
You don't need that purse.  Bringing in a purse means the security has to look inside, therefore prolonging your entrance.  (Hint: Girls, hook your car key to your bra strap and keep your phone in your front pocket).  Once you're past security, RUN to the pit. despite all the guards yelling, "DON'T RUN."  Grab the barricade and breathe a sigh of relief because your efforts were worthwhile.

Rule #6: Concert Courtesy
If you didn't get barricade, you didn't get barricade.  Please, do not try to squeeze your way up there.  Don't be that guy.

If you got barricade, hold on tight and prepare to have bruised arms tomorrow.

If you got barricade and you're a 6 foot tall man, COME ON.  Let the short ones in front.  You can see over everyone anyway.  Rude.

If you have a crush on the lead singer, spare yourself some embarrassment and don't yell "OMG I LOVE YOU SO MUCH" every 2 minutes.  Girl we get it, you're thirsty.

If you really love a song, don't scream the lyrics with your horrible singing voice into the person's ear in front of you.

If you really love the band you're seeing, put your phone down.  Take a couple nice photos, then enjoy the concert.  What's the point of being there if you just record the whole thing?  I doubt you'll even watch the videos later.

Rule #7: Post-Show
Your head is spinning; your ears are ringing; you have this undying thirst for a gallon of water.  You feel like total crap but it was worth it in the end.  You've seen your favorite band play.  You've danced to their songs while they sing the lyrics that have gotten through your toughest days.  You spent a day with your friends and strangers that you know nothing about.  However you do know that you all came together for your equal love of one band.  It is a night where you feel like you finally fit in--a night where everything makes sense.

Shows are more than just a past time for misfit teens.  They are happy memories for the ones who need them.  Follow the rules, enjoy the shows and be grateful for times like these.  This is OUR culture.


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