I refuse to be a waitress forever

I interviewed for a job for after graduation and surprise, surprise, I didn't get it.  I know that it's because I'm terrible at interviews.  When I'm nervous and on the spot, I sort of black out and ramble.  I was ill-prepared to answer their questions and that's my fault, but I know I would have been a great fit for the position.

When I read my rejection email, I immediately thought, "I will never interview again."  Of course, that's impossible, and when I realized that one day I would have to do it again I thought, "I guess I'll apply for grad school?"  I suppose I wouldn't mind continuing my education, but I hate the thought of still having to wait tables as a part-time job.

I do and say a lot of embarrassing things as a waitress, so I thought to lighten the mood (and to promise myself that I will not be a waitress forever) I'd tell the world some stories of how totally awkward I am at work.

1) Balancing heavy food and drinks is just asking for trouble, really. 

-One time, I spilled an entire bowl of tomato soup on a rich old woman's white shirt. 

-Another time I dropped a full glass of Doctor Pepper on a man's lap.  

-I also poured water in a woman's purse once, but she didn't see it so I just pretended it didn't happen.

2) I'm an absolute mess at work.

-Once I leaned up against barbecue sauce somehow and was walking around with this big glob of bbq on my back for who knows how long...oh and it was in my hair too.

-I picked up a bottle of A1 by the lid when I was cleaning a table and go figure, it spilled all over me.  So I smelled like steak for about 6 hours and needless to say, I hate A1 now.

-If I had a dollar for every time I spilled salsa on me, I wouldn't even need a job.

  

3) I get tongue-tied far too often.

-I used to watch a lot of Spongebob Squarepants, and in the episode where Mr. Krabs' daughter takes over the Krusty Krab and sells salad instead of burgers, Spongebob doesn't know what a salad is and he pronounces them funny.  It's like sal-ad...hard to explain unless you've heard it, but anyway,  I frequently say salad wrong to customers on accident.  "Here's your caesar sal-ad!" *Walks away awkwardly and hopes no one notices*

-One time I tried to say, "Have a good day, ladies!" and it came out as "Have a good lady!"

-I got "no problem" and "you're welcome"mixed up a couple times and said "Your problem!" Yikes.

-My personal favorite awkward tongue twister:  A table with a family of maybe 3 kids ordered spinach and artichoke dip.  When I delivered it to their table  I said, "Here is your spinach and artichoke dick!"  I still will not say that menu item out loud. 

So, I'm discouraged about not getting that job, but at least I know that I'm determined enough to keep trying so I don't have to embarrass myself daily waiting tables.