Why I would rather not "free" my nipples

We've all heard of the "Free the Nipple" campaign.  However if you haven't, this is a feminist movement to decriminalize the female body so that women can go topless just like men.  Women are wanting to stop the sexualization of their bodies.

Being a feminist, I find it very fair to allow women to be topless in public if a man can do the same.  Ladies--I know you're jealous of a man's ability to take his shirt off on a hot summer day.

Seeing as I lived in France for a year, I was able to actually experience the feeling of equality while being topless in pubic at a nude beach.  Honestly it felt rather freeing, but only because I was in France, where seeing a woman's breast is like seeing a woman's wrist. In the United States, however, I feel sort of afraid of the idea.

Being a woman, I find it difficult to imagine women walking around half-nude and not getting harassed for it.  When a woman walks down the street in shorts and a t-shirt there's already a big chance that she's going to get cat-called by some creepy guy.  Guys, newsflash: No female likes to be cat-called. Ever.  So how bad would it get for a woman walking topless?

If one day we can all take our shirts off in public, it would be a fantastic day for sex equality. Nevertheless I feel like I would still not feel comfortable joining in because I do not believe that ALL men will ever see a woman's breast desexualized..not any time soon at least.

        

Marriage might be worth it

I've always been known to sort of run from commitment.  My siblings refer to me as a "strong independent woman" which is just a nice way of saying "the sister who will never get married."
For the most part I've become rather comfortable with the idea of living on my own.  When you're alone there's no one you have to clean up after and you can take up the entire bed without issue.
However, when I was sick last week I got to thinking about the downsides of living alone and thought maybe marriage MIGHT be worth it for a few reasons:

1) Someone to take care of you when you're sick
This was obviously my first thought.  Let's face it- it sucks living alone when you're feeling sick.  It would be nice to have someone get me a cold wash cloth for my forehead and chicken noodle soup.  Nobody likes getting out of bed with a fever..so that's where a significant other comes in handy.  In sickness and in health, right?

2) Someone to cuddle
I don't care who you are, warm bodies are needed to cuddle in specific situations.
Example a: When you're sad
Example b: When you're cold
Simply put, we'd all be happier if we just had someone to cuddle every once in a while.  I guess a cat could probably fulfill this one but if you're allergic to furry friends, a husband is your answer.

3) Someone to cook for
Personally, I love to cook.  It's very difficult to cook an entire meal for just one person though.  It would be nice to have another person to cook dinners for so I'm not eating my leftovers for a week straight.

4) Someone to do the dishes
This sounds lazy of me but if I'm cooking, the other one should be cleaning the dishes right?  I actually just hate doing the dishes and I'm sure any of my past room mates would tell you that's the truth.  Maybe a husband would be a helping hand?

5)Someone else to shop for
I love clothes.  I love buying them and putting together outfits but a lot of people say I have too many clothes of my own.  So why not use my addiction for good and make a well-dressed man out of it?  Seems legitimate to me.

6) Someone to hang out with me (even when I'm hormonal)
Sometimes I want to watch a movie with someone other than myself.  Sometimes all my friends are busy.  Sometimes I'm too grumpy for people to want to be around me but a significant other is there for better or for worse!  Built-in BFF.

With all of this being said, I'm still anti-marriage...but I could be convinced.

Studying Abroad: Progressive or Regressive?

For those of you who haven't been following my blog, I got home on May fourth from studying in Aix-en-Provence, France for ten months.  It was the most wonderful experience of my life and I wouldn't trade it for the world.  However, being home has left me feeling slightly out of place socially.  Everyone talks about how studying abroad changes your life for the good and IT DOES. It also confuses the hell out of you when you return to your home country.

Exhibit A: The most obvious of changes for me was the language.  I spent 10 months hearing French, speaking French, reading French, writing French and thinking in French.  I did use English as well, but the mixing of the two languages seemed to turn my brain into mush for about a month and a half at home.  I started to forget English words and only know them in French.  Then I forgot words in English AND in French, leaving me as this stammering idiot who forgot simple words on a daily basis.  Thankfully my brain is adjusted back to English now although I hope that doesn't mean that I've lost all of my progress in French. *sigh*

Exhibit B: My biggest fear before I left for France was that everyone was going to forget about me.  Though this is not the case, I still feel behind in my own social life.  Life at home doesn't pause while you're away, unfortunately, and this has been made very clear to me!  I don't know half of my sorority now, my french professor had TWINS (I missed the entire pregnancy), my friends have new boyfriends, some friends had babies, and loads of people graduated.  I feel like I was in a coma for a year or something.

Exhibit C:  Last but not least, studying abroad is slightly regressive in the way that ALL I can think about is France.  I'm that annoying meme of the girl in the hipster glasses that starts every story with "When I lived in Europe."  I'm constantly comparing things to my year abroad like, "This is nothing like the goulash in Hungary!" or "Wine is so much better and cheaper in France, trust me."  I also find myself recommending my friends to restaurants they can't actually go to at the moment.  "If you like this, you need to try Pizza Capri." I feel like a whiner as well, because I miss cheap public transport and the café atmosphere.  I'm constantly thinking of where I can travel next weekend even though it is no longer plausible to take a flight to Italy for 40 euros.  I'm still flabbergasted by the amount of obese people in wheelchairs at Walmart.  Living in France for ten months progressed my cultural views and made me a more well-rounded person, but it also sort of ruined me in the USA.

 

Time flies: Farewell (for now) to my study abroad pals

I'm utterly flabbergasted that my year in Provence is ending.  My mother arrives in Aix on Friday.  I'll show her around my city and we'll visit Bordeaux..and then we'll fly home on May 4.
I can remember every little detail down to the very second of my first day in Aix-en-Provence.  I can still feel the emotions of fear, excitement, anxiety, sadness, and absolute and total bliss that I felt on September 8.  As cliché as this seems, it honestly feels like yesterday..but it wasn't yesterday.  It was 8 months ago.  I've been in France for 8 months and it feels like only a day has passed.

Just as I did last semester, I'm writing this in dedication to the friends I made that kept me grounded and sane, made me laugh, made me cry from laughing, and made my second semester (or year, for some of you that I've been with since September) a memorable experience.  I wouldn't trade a single one of our inside jokes for the world.  I know I'll see you again after we all leave France because I love you guys too much to fully say "goodbye" to you.  So here's just a bunch of photos of how cool my friends are.

 Sarah

 Alyssa

 Rachel

 Emily

 Ben



Time flies when you're having fun.

How French people know that I'm not French

Everywhere I go in France, it seems like the french people KNOW that I'm not french.  I've had waiters and store owners approach me and talk to me in English even before I've said a word.  This is both annoying (because all I want to do is speak French with them) and mind boggling (because HOW DO THEY KNOW?).  I've had my mind wrapped around this subject for quite some time but it was highlighted in my brain as very important subject matter today when I was walking into town.  I was just walking, minding my own business, when a guy approached me and said, "J'ai l'impression que tu n'habites pas la bas." Tranlsation: "I have the impression that you don't live here."  I hadn't said a single word out loud yet today and I was already spotted as a foreigner.  HOW DID HE KNOW?! Naturally, I responded as if I was an insulted French woman, "uhh, non. J'habite ici à Aix," and stormed off to a sunny terrace to drink a café au lait and read my notes with serious interest on my face as if to give off the impression of being French.
After this incident I took a step back and analyzed myself in comparison to a French woman and found three tell-tale signs that signal that I'm foreign.

1) My physical appearance:
This is the most obvious of signs.  Personally, I have a hard time telling the difference between a French woman and a woman from the states or any other European country from their faces alone.  However, something very different between myself and a French woman is our clothes.  Of course!  I dress very obnoxiously compared to the French.  Don't get me wrong, I love my closet and every piece of clothing inside it (perhaps a little too much) but my pieces of clothing would not be found in the closet of a French woman.  Heck, even when I'm wearing an outfit with all neutral colors, my outfits are still a bit too weird for the French.  Also, another obvious physical distinction is the beloved hair bow I continue to sport in my hair everyday...despite the fact that I'm 21 years old.  The only French females wearing hair bows are ages 2-6.  After that it's just too childish.  But hey, I think they're charming. :)

2)My mannerisms:
You don't realize how differently you act until you think about it.  For example, it is customary for an American to smile at any human you pass and make eye contact with.  It's a reflex by now, honestly.  If I make eye contact with you, you're getting a smile whether you want it or not.  And trust me, I don't think the French people want you to smile at them.  I get plenty of weird looks from doing that but it's habitual so I always do.
Another thing I do that the French do not, is pardon myself while walking through a crowd of people or if my shoulder brushes against another persons shoulder when I pass them.  Honestly, I have never heard a French person apologize for running into me, while I'm over here screaming, "DÉSOLÉE, PARDONNEZ-MOI" because I feel seriously bad for running into them.  Apologizing seems like a wasted effort to the French, I guess, which doesn't make them rude necessarily, but makes me kind of annoying.

3)My response time:
If, by some act of God, a French person doesn't assume I'm foreign already for the above reasons and speaks to me in French, he/she will know when I open my mouth.
I'm confident in my French for the most part and I've made so much progress with it this year, but I still doubt myself before I speak.  I understand what the French person is asking me, but I have to re-translate it again in my head to make sure and think about an appropriate response before saying it..therefore making my response time slower.  That extra 2 seconds it takes to reassure myself, tells the French person *SHE DOESN'T UNDERSTAND* so he/she switches to English.  This is a nasty habit that I hope to kick soon.  98% of the time, I know exactly what to say but I don't say it fast enough.  That's just the learning process I suppose.

Even when they speak to me in English, I still force my non-fluent French onto them by responding in French until they follow along.  I get my way eventually.  Hopefully in a year or two when I'm living in France again, I'll be able to tell you all that these coincidences have stopped occurring, but I'm sure they'll never fully stop unless I put more effort into morphing myself into a French woman.  Even though I'd love to be French, I'm just not, and I love myself too much to change SO GET USED TO IT FRANCE.

Modesty in the United States

I wanted to approach a topic that's been in the back of my mind for most of the time I've been in Europe: Modesty.

The majority of Americans know that nudity is not an issue in Europe (e.g., topless beaches, naked art) but there are other immodest qualities that give Europe its charm that also seems to make Americans uncomfortable.

Other than nudity, one example is the use of cuss words.  This seems like it's not a big deal, especially for the younger generations in the states.  Most people cuss after every other word (guilty!) and that's becoming normal vocabulary.  However, how many cuss words are allowed on television?
Don't strain yourself, I've comprised a list.
It is acceptable to say:
1)A** but NOT a**hole. Not sure why.
2)Damn
3)Hell
4)Bastard

It is not acceptable to say:
1)Sh**
2)F***
3)C***
4)P***y

If you're wondering why some of these are deemed acceptable, ask the FCC, because I have no idea.
Not only are the words on television censored, but also every song on the radio!  Is there a single radio station that doesn't change or bleep out words? That song by Cee-lo Green about his gold-digging ex-girlfriend was definitely NOT titled "Forget You."  Seriously, think about it!
However, the point of this exercise was to direct attention to the fact that songs on the radio are NOT censored in Europe.  I don't watch t.v. here but I'm willing to bet that it isn't.  There are also no mom's causing ruckus over it either.  Kids will hear bad words.  It's inevitable.

My second example of the prudence in the United States is strangely enough the lack of use of the word "toilet."
This sounds hilarious but it's SO true.  If I was to ask someone at a restaurant where the toilet was, it would make me, and the person I'm asking, feel very uncomfortable.  I feel like the only time you should use the word "toilet" is to tell a plumber that your toilet needs fixing.
Actually one time at a restaurant in France, my friend asked for the "salle de bain" or "bathroom" and the waiter laughed at her and was like "Why?  Do you need to take a shower?"  Why do we try to avoid saying the word "toilet?"
The room with all of the toilets is called a restroom...why?  You're not taking a nap in there.  Everyone knows what we're doing, yet we feel weird saying it.  Heck, my french professor last semester would just be like "Je dois faire pee-pee."  What professor at home would blatantly tell you that she has to pee?

These are only two examples but I think they make my point.  Why is it that Americans are so uptight?  Or are Europeans just very easy-going?  I guess you can form your own opinion.

Don't forget to do what you love

Recently I decided to start going to Catholic mass every week again.  Something made me miss the community of it.  It's comforting seeing the same happy faces every week, doing the same things as you.   I also always liked going and hearing the homily...basically getting advice on how to be  a good person is needed in my life I think.
This blog is definitely NOT about me becoming some born-again christian who was "saved" or to tell you all to go to church because "ya'll need JESUS."
I started going back because I wondered why I ever stopped going in the first place.  I liked going. Why would I have stopped?
While in Mass last night, listening to the choir sing every hymn in perfect harmony, I was reminded of the large portion of my life I spent singing in my own church choir.  We had a nun who ran it at Sacred Heart named Sister Gloria-- sweetest woman EVER-- and she would give me solos to sing during communion and praised me as if I had the voice of an angel.  Trust me, I wasn't that good, but I had so much fun with it!  After graduating high school and moving out of my parents' home, I rarely found time to sing.  I didn't want to in my dorm because my whole floor would hear me.  Sometimes I'd belt out my favorite song in the car, but really I just stopped singing altogether.  It took me until sitting in mass last night to realize how much I missed it.  So do you know what I did?  I sang in the shower.  LOUDLY.  I was a little nervous that I'd irritate my neighbors...but if they are allowed to scream and run down the hallways at 3am on a Tuesday, I think I should be allowed about 20 minutes of bad singing every night, don't you?
And there are other things that I stopped doing that were once things I loved.  Like writing poetry for example.
Why do we stop doing the things we enjoy when we get older?  Is it because we don't have the time?  Everyone is so worried about wasting time but I think if you're filling your days with satisfying activity, your day is not wasted!  Therefore I'm going to take more time out my day to sing horribly, do the time step, write a poem, cook something interesting, and love each day a little bit more.