What to wear

Okay, whether you've read my past blog Confessions of a Shopaholic (from August 4, 2014) or you just know me very well, it's rather apparent that I, Zoë Cardinal-Wyant, have an inexplicable, irrevocable, insatiable want, need and adoration for clothing.  I can't stress this enough.  I won't go into detail, for it's already been explained in the previously mentioned entry.  However, I'm bringing this up again to illustrate the recent problems that I've been struggling with here in Aix.
I never thought that basically living out of a suitcase for a year would be that difficult. I figured it would take some getting used to, but wouldn't be a problem.  But there is a problem.  I cannot get used to it.
In my eyes, you can only wear the same outfit about ten times before it's just expired.  Actually, I don't think I've ever worn an outfit ten times back in the states.  You just get bored of the same freaking shirt worn with the same freaking pants and, "oh maybe I'll add a scarf" does not give the outfit a brand new identity. It's still the same shirt and jeans.  And not only does it get boring, but it gets worn out!  I'm actually wearing out my clothes!  My favorite black cardigan now has holes in the armpits.  I've gone through two white cardigans already...actually anything that used to be white is no longer so.  I've also already had to buy a new pair of black boots because the ones I had when I came here essentially fell apart.
"Zoë. why don't you just go buy more clothes?" The obvious answer is, "I can't afford to." Sure I've made a few H&M trips but I'll never be able to duplicate my beloved wardrobe at home.  Not to mention the fact that I have to take all of this stuff back with me in 6 months.
I'm just not cut out for living without options.  I miss having a choice in what to wear.  Seems like a stupid thing to miss, but it's real to me!
Also- I'm aware of how selfish I sound.  I know that there are people in the world who literally only have one outfit to wear.  But I'd be lying to you if I said I wasn't bothered by my current wardrobe size.  I feel bad complaining, but it's the truth.
Another addition- I'd never judge someone else who chooses to wear the same things over and over. Seriously, you do you. You go Glenn Coco. I am just not comfortable with doing that myself.

In conclusion, I'm adding the opening scene of the movie Confessions of a Shopaholic for you to watch and maybe you'll get where I'm coming from.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RGcs_WX9Exc

What is beautiful?

I haven't blogged in a while because I haven't been able to think of anything interesting to write about.  Nothing too interesting has happened since my last entry, other than my weekend in Paris and here's a quick summary:
1)Saw sites that I've already seen before
2)Tried escargot
3)MASTERED the metro system like a boss
4)Saw a Wild Child show
5)Saw a Niki de Saint Phalle Expo

Now that I've summarized what you've missed, I thought I'd approach another profound topic concerning the French culture.  This topic is the one thing that every woman worries about whether they want to admit it or not: Beauty.  I had someone ask me a couple months ago what the standards of beauty are in France.  I'm going to explain them, but first I'll describe the standards of beauty in the United States.
A woman in the United States is considered beautiful if she meets these criteria:
-Perfect white straight teeth
-Tan skin (not too tan, although not too pale)
-Face made up
-Hair on point
Additional yet still important- Trendy clothes and polished nails
Okay. It's obvious that not every woman in the states cares enough to always look perfect (myself included) but it's true that most women have some sort of self-esteem issue if they feel like they are not up to the standards of what we call "beautiful."
For example, back at home it took me around an hour to get ready in the morning.  After taking the time to cover every blemish and dark circle and straightening every piece of hair, I'd have one minute to grab a granola bar and run out the door before missing the bus (which I missed the bus everyday anyway but that's beside the point).
Beauty in the United States is based off of media.  One week we're all supposed to have thigh gaps and the next week we all must have a shelf-ass.  It's entirely impossible to be up to those standards.
Now for what I've noticed in France.
Women are themselves and it is beautiful! They wear their hair down naturally, they show their true skin, they don't persistently worry about whitening strips every 3 months and they dress SO incredibly laid back.  What's cool about it is that you know they put basically no effort into their outfits and yet they look fabulous.
I can tell you that my 3 months in France has made me see my own natural beauty and I'm forever grateful for that.  My getting ready time here is literally 25 minutes...and that's including breakfast.
Women in France believe that natural is beautiful and I could not agree more.
However, who's to say that I won't return to my one hour "getting ready time" when I return to the states?  I guess we'll see about that.

We are small

Earth has a radius of 6,371 km (3,959 miles).  There are over 7 billion people living on the planet.  Within the globe, there are 196 different countries in which the 7 billion people are dispersed.
Everyone knows that our world is HUGE, but only in numbers that we're taught in class.
Before I left the states, I always knew the world was something extraordinary and baffling...but only that.
It seriously intrigues me that there is always more to learn about the planet we live on.  Every country you go to has cultural differences: from languages, religions, food, politics, clothing, or even simple things like..when to make eye contact with someone or how to greet them.
Outside of France I've only been to Italy and Belgium, but I feel like I've seen so much.
Italy is gorgeous.  I've never seen a more beautiful city than Rome.  I also did not meet a single Italian that was rude or impolite.  They all seem to have this friendly, laid back, sense of humor about them. Not to mention the people there are equally as beautiful as the country.  Plus there's about 6 pizzerias on each street and there is NO better cappuccino than the real deal in Italy.
 Belgium..WHY DOES NO ONE TEACH  ABOUT BELGIUM?! That is such a marvelous country with so so so much culture and history.  I went there knowing nothing about it and now I'm in love!  Belgians are all bilingual, most are even trilingual (because they basically belonged to everyone before becoming independent).  They invented FRIES.  That's correct, they're not a french creation..so calling them "french fries" really pisses off Belgians.  The most well-known "monuments" in Belgium are the fountains of a little boy and little girl pissing. And they dress them up in costumes.  There are 600 costumes for the peeing boy.  Belgium is hilarious and amazing and I have to go back.
The wonderful thing is that I really haven't seen very much.  There's still so much left to see and learn and take in and I intend to see it all.  Staying in your home country your whole life is a way to feel stable and comfortable.  Traveling the world is a way to make yourself feel incredibly small in the best way possible.  We are small.  We all are tiny pieces contributing to the whole of an intricate, complex, interesting reality: A reality in which we call home.  Our world is beautiful.  I feel grateful to be a part of it and get to see and smell and hear the diversity within it.

The struggles of being sick while studying abroad

So, when studying abroad, homesickness is an unavoidable, inevitable feeling.  If you're overseas, you expect to miss your home and you assess how to get over that.  Luckily, my homesickness has gotten MUCH better- I only got homesick once last week and it lasted about 15 minutes.  However, something that I did not anticipate while being abroad is getting physically sick.
Getting some sort of cold or flu is also inevitable, but it wasn't something I thought about prior.  Now, three days into my cold, I am learning what it's like to take care of myself and it's very different.  Here are a few sick-girl struggles I've experienced.

1) Food - When I'm sick I want chicken noodle soup, hot tea, popsicles...food that isn't real food.  I can't have popsicles because I don't have a freezer, so soup sounds easy right?  Nope.  I went to Monoprix to find something similar to Campbell's soup in a can and literally, soup comes in boxes.  Boxes that need to be opened with scissors (which I don't have) so earlier today I found myself sawing open a box of chicken noodle soup with a butter knife while it splashed all over my desk...The struggle.

2) Meds - Okay, I brought what I thought was an entire pharmacy over from the states but apparently I did not think to pack any cold medicine.  I tried to get some from the pharmacy today but when I was in town it was lunch hour so it was closed.  Then I realized that even if I went in there and tried to find something, I'd have no idea what I was doing.  My french vocab does not currently reach the over-the-counter meds category so I'd probably end up buying something totally wrong...

3) My "solutions" - Since I'm lacking medicines and proper sick-girl foods, I've been going vitamin crazy to try to fix myself.  Like, a vitamin C tablet everyday and 2 gummy vitamins, fruits of every sort that I can get my hands on, "detox" teas, OH and I've drank an entire liter of orange juice TODAY.  If I'm not better by tomorrow, it's apparent that I'm not lacking vitamins, so I must be dying.

I guess I have ebola.  Goodbye cruel world.

Three ways that France has improved my overall health

I've realized that my blog entry from last week seemed rather depressing (although I didn't mean for it to come off that way) so I thought that this week I'd talk about something very positive.  Yes, something has been positively effected by France thus far and here it is-- My health.
First of all, what does "healthy" really mean?  I used to always consider myself a healthy person because I mean, I don't have diabetes or cancer and I haven't had a heart attack (despite the numerous times that I've SWORN I was having one).  However, looking back on how I used to feel everyday and comparing it to how I now feel everyday, I don't consider the "me" in the states to be very healthy.  Some things I used to complain about everyday in the states are...basically everything listed in the Pepto Bismol song, plus extreme fatigue and headaches.  In the past month I rarely have encountered these things.  I will now explain how France has improved my health in three ways:

1) My Diet 
Like stated above, I basically suffered from every gastrointestinal problem in the states.  I used to think that was normal but it's definitely not.  I have come to this realization with the help of my changed diet. You see, the food here is real food.  The produce is locally grown.  I feel like every dairy product I've bought has been organic (and I wasn't looking for organic).  Your breads are baked fresh everyday and even when you want something sweet, you're still being healthier than in the states because they use REAL sugar here.  The greatest part is that I don't even have to search for healthier options here because they are all healthy (in comparison to anything in the states).  The reasoning behind this wonderful thing is that all GMO's are banned in France...actually the entire European union has banned GMO's.  What is a GMO?  A genetically modified organism, i.e: crops that are changed to enhance taste and quality...like the Flavr Savr tomato.  Although they might taste good, they're not the best for you and in the US, cattle is fed with genetically modified produce which is passed to you through milk and beef.  Even if you think you're escaping them, you're not.  Therefore, I feel 100% healthier and I have the food here to thank for it.

2) My Physical Fitness
If you're a regular reader of my blog (LOL those don't exist) you'd know from earlier posts that I really had no intention of becoming "physically fit." I hate working out, and that is still very true today.  However, I was basically forced into becoming active when I moved here because I have to walk everywhere, uphill. I walk at least three miles a day, probably more.  I climbed a freaking mountain the other day AND participated in a 5K.  No, I didn't run the whole thing because I'm not immortal but I did run a lot more of it than I could have prior.  I remember the first week here, the walk up the hill to my dorm was like a living hell...but now it's nothing. I can feel my legs getting toner too, which is a super plus.

3) My Tolerance to Weather
Okay, this one isn't exactly health...unless you consider it mental health...but at home I could not last more than 20 minutes outside if it was over 75 degrees.  I would be laying out by the pool with my friends and a few minutes later I would disappear into the air conditioning.  I was always the biggest baby about heat but now living in the South of France where it's 80 degrees in October and no AC, I have become accustomed to it.  Obviously I still don't prefer it to be hot outside, but at least now I can handle it.  Plus I drink a lot more water here because if I didn't I'd get dehydrated, fast.

Yes, sometimes I miss late night Taco Bell and early morning Mcgriddles.  I'm still human.  Nonetheless, I'm a little afraid to go back to eating the way I did at home when I return and becoming once again a couch potato.  I'm happy with the way I feel in France...like my body actually likes me.  So thank you Aix-en-Provence for repairing my out of shape, fat-saturated body.  Vive la France!

Dépaysement

While pondering over the many options I have to blog about this week, I could not find any particular interest in anything.  You see, my brain has been distracted recently by all things negative.  I don't mean to alarm anyone who is reading this; this is not a blog about depression or homesickness, or anything that could make someone worry about me.  Honestly, I think what I'm going through is natural and is intensified by stressors such as lack of money or lack of companionship.  There is a french word, dépaysemant, which basically means "the feeling that comes from not being in one's home country."
I personally think that the dépaysement that I'm experiencing is centered around change.  I'm away from everyone and everything I've ever known.  Nothing is the same.  I live in a teeny tiny dorm lacking things that normally a person would need (like cleaning supplies, trashcans, a comforter on my bed).  We have a kitchen but I have no pots and pans.  I can't even cook easy frozen stuff because there is no freezer.  I have to eat everything at my desk or on my bed because there are no chairs in the kitchen, and usually if I'm eating at home it's bread with cheese or jam or hummus.  To even GET bread and cheese, I have to walk 30 minutes to a grocery store or a market and they close super early every night anyway.
The lack of food brings me to another point-- lack of money.  I am forced to eat out everyday because there's no way to eat otherwise.  Henceforth, I've already spent a very large portion of my money that I had saved for the entire year.  I honestly have no idea how to make the money that I have last 8 more months.  It looks very bleak and it stresses me out.
Other than those things, there are several other things here that are just very DIFFERENT and they are hard to get used to or make me feel out of place.  For example, the entire city shutting down at noon on Sundays, public bathrooms costing you money to use them, the bus that sometimes just doesn't stop to pick you up, the lack of soap ANYWHERE (seriously, it's like they don't believe in washing their hands), the fact that coffee is only sold in shot glasses, guys and girls use the same restrooms in my school, and that there is literally no AC anywhere.  I know what you're thinking, "Oh my gosh Zoë, you're being such a big baby.  Those things are so unimportant." And I totally agree.  However, it's these little things that make me feel displaced and make me realize how much I love the United States.
I really am lucky to be here and I'm very happy in Aix; I just have a hard time adjusting and I miss how easy and comfortable things are back at home.

Rude French People

This week's blog entry will be focused on debunking and finding truth out of a very common stereotype: All French people are rude.
I personally have no idea where this stereotype originated and I'm pretty sure that no one actually does.  However this is one of the most familiar ways to categorize the French.  First off, I'm not standing up for or bashing the French.  I'm only shedding some light of reality on this unanswered cliché based on my experience.
I'll start with a few examples of what might give a foreigner the impression that all French people are rude.
1) You're not speaking French. 
OR YOU'RE NOT GOOD AT FRENCH
French people are very proud of their language, like all countries are, I'd assume.  Normally they will respect you or treat you nicely if you're speaking (or trying to speak) French with them.  On the other hand, if you don't try at all, they'll treat you like an idiot.  Also if you DO try,  but you're not up to their standards, they'll just immediately switch to speaking English and talk to you like a child.
--This last part is something that seriously irritates me.  Obviously I'm trying to speak your language.  Humor me please.  I'm still learning.
So one way to avoid a rude encounter with a French person is to speak fluent French. Good luck.
2) Restaurant service is not like it is in America. 
In the states when you go to a restaurant you're immediately greeted by a hostess and taken to a table, all smiles.  "Have a good meal! Your server will be right with you!" says the hostess.  You look at your menu for about 3 minutes and soon after, your server appears.  She/he is bubbly and excited  to see you.  "Hi my name is _____, welcome to ________! What can I get you to drink? *lists beverage options*" When you get your food, your server pops by the table every few minutes, "How's everything tasting?! Do you need anything?! Let me get you a refill!" Everything is done quickly, efficiently, and with the most positive attitude ever.  The servers in America treat you like queens.  What I've experience in France so far with restaurants is that a lot of the times you just seat yourself, the server takes a year to greet you, they never come by to see if you need ketchup or more water and they never separate checks. I understand that it's a culture thing and french people probably don't like to be bothered while they're eating.  (Honestly, servers in the US can get pretty annoying when they ask you if everything is okay every 5 minutes) However, when you're used to service being the way it is at Red Lobster, you feel neglected at a French restaurant.  This could easily give an American the impression that French people are rude.  So keep in mind next time you come to France that the manager of the restaurant you're eating at is NOT going to stop by your table and tell you "happy anniversary" and you're never getting that refill you wanted.
--Hint: You don't tip a French server because it's always added to the bill.  This is also probably why they aren't kissing your ass during your meal.
3) Any service in general is not a pleasant thing in France.
I'll start with an example.  The bus station: I'm trying to get my car treize card so I can take the bus somewhere.  My bus leaves in 40 minutes.  You'd think that'd be enough time but in France it's not.  I come to find out that there are 2 windows open out of the like, 6 or 8 windows.  Meaning there are only two people working at the station and there's a line of people waiting to be helped that's running out the building.  Naturally, I'm late for my bus and the worker behind the window hates her life because of how busy she is.  This scenario is literally everywhere.  Therefore, most people working behind a counter are usually quite rude to customers because they're downright cranky.  Honestly I don't understand why they can't just let more people work at one time but whatever.  So don't expect a lovely experience when you're at the grocery store, or when you're trying to update your bus pass.
--If you happen to show up at a time where there are barely any other customers there, chances are you'll get great service.  They're not always crabby.
In conclusion-
So there you have it:  Three things I've noticed that could give the impression to a foreigner that French people are rude.  However, they really aren't bad.  Every stranger I pass says "Bonjour!" and smiles at me.  Every time I enter a store or pass a stand at the market, I'm greeted just the same.  I've found that French people are actually quite friendly.  In the states, if I said hello to every person I passed on the street, I'd be looked at like I'm nuts.  So honestly, it all depends on what French people you've encountered.  I've had quite a few bad experiences with French people, but it doesn't make me believe that ALL the french are unpleasant.  You can't categorize a whole country based on a few bad memories...and that goes for every country, not just France.