This week's blog entry will be focused on debunking and finding truth out of a very common stereotype: All French people are rude.
I personally have no idea where this stereotype originated and I'm pretty sure that no one actually does. However this is one of the most familiar ways to categorize the French. First off, I'm not standing up for or bashing the French. I'm only shedding some light of reality on this unanswered cliché based on my experience.
I'll start with a few examples of what might give a foreigner the impression that all French people are rude.
1) You're not speaking French.
OR YOU'RE NOT GOOD AT FRENCH
French people are very proud of their language, like all countries are, I'd assume. Normally they will respect you or treat you nicely if you're speaking (or trying to speak) French with them. On the other hand, if you don't try at all, they'll treat you like an idiot. Also if you DO try, but you're not up to their standards, they'll just immediately switch to speaking English and talk to you like a child.
--This last part is something that seriously irritates me. Obviously I'm trying to speak your language. Humor me please. I'm still learning.
So one way to avoid a rude encounter with a French person is to speak fluent French. Good luck.
2) Restaurant service is not like it is in America.
In the states when you go to a restaurant you're immediately greeted by a hostess and taken to a table, all smiles. "Have a good meal! Your server will be right with you!" says the hostess. You look at your menu for about 3 minutes and soon after, your server appears. She/he is bubbly and excited to see you. "Hi my name is _____, welcome to ________! What can I get you to drink? *lists beverage options*" When you get your food, your server pops by the table every few minutes, "How's everything tasting?! Do you need anything?! Let me get you a refill!" Everything is done quickly, efficiently, and with the most positive attitude ever. The servers in America treat you like queens. What I've experience in France so far with restaurants is that a lot of the times you just seat yourself, the server takes a year to greet you, they never come by to see if you need ketchup or more water and they never separate checks. I understand that it's a culture thing and french people probably don't like to be bothered while they're eating. (Honestly, servers in the US can get pretty annoying when they ask you if everything is okay every 5 minutes) However, when you're used to service being the way it is at Red Lobster, you feel neglected at a French restaurant. This could easily give an American the impression that French people are rude. So keep in mind next time you come to France that the manager of the restaurant you're eating at is NOT going to stop by your table and tell you "happy anniversary" and you're never getting that refill you wanted.
--Hint: You don't tip a French server because it's always added to the bill. This is also probably why they aren't kissing your ass during your meal.
3) Any service in general is not a pleasant thing in France.
I'll start with an example. The bus station: I'm trying to get my car treize card so I can take the bus somewhere. My bus leaves in 40 minutes. You'd think that'd be enough time but in France it's not. I come to find out that there are 2 windows open out of the like, 6 or 8 windows. Meaning there are only two people working at the station and there's a line of people waiting to be helped that's running out the building. Naturally, I'm late for my bus and the worker behind the window hates her life because of how busy she is. This scenario is literally everywhere. Therefore, most people working behind a counter are usually quite rude to customers because they're downright cranky. Honestly I don't understand why they can't just let more people work at one time but whatever. So don't expect a lovely experience when you're at the grocery store, or when you're trying to update your bus pass.
--If you happen to show up at a time where there are barely any other customers there, chances are you'll get great service. They're not always crabby.
In conclusion-
So there you have it: Three things I've noticed that could give the impression to a foreigner that French people are rude. However, they really aren't bad. Every stranger I pass says "Bonjour!" and smiles at me. Every time I enter a store or pass a stand at the market, I'm greeted just the same. I've found that French people are actually quite friendly. In the states, if I said hello to every person I passed on the street, I'd be looked at like I'm nuts. So honestly, it all depends on what French people you've encountered. I've had quite a few bad experiences with French people, but it doesn't make me believe that ALL the french are unpleasant. You can't categorize a whole country based on a few bad memories...and that goes for every country, not just France.
Sunday, September 28, 2014
Sunday, September 21, 2014
The Wolf Pack
The second week of my study abroad adventure is over. It's crazy how quickly the days pass!! Well, on one hand it feels like I've been here for months but on the other hand it's as if I blinked and two weeks went by.
This week I went to classes and chose which electives I wanted to take. After the placement testing I was placed in level B2+, which is apparently very advanced. I didn't realize how advanced my level was until I started classes and learned that three of my fellow classmates are former French teachers. YEA. There are THREE Madame Query's taking my class with me. A few other students in my level have been living in France for several years; My friend Sarah and I are the youngest students. Obviously, the language classes are terrifying. I do not feel like I belong in such an advanced level, but that's where I was placed so I feel like I'm probably supposed to be there, right? I can understand the majority of everything, I just can't respond quick enough with the right words. We'll see how next week goes.
Other than classes, I've had another week of culture and bliss. I don't have classes on Fridays, so this past Thursday night I went out with a group of friends. There was a club reserved for the Fac de Lettres (my campus) so we got cheap tickets to get in. Oh, before the club (which was exactly what you expect: bright lights, loud music, french DJ yelling into a microphone every ten minutes) we all went to this bar that sells shots that are lit on fire. I don't even know what alcohol was in it but there was a lemon on top with honey and burnt sugar and you drink it through a straw. That was pretty cool...it was a fun night. Friday night since we were so exhausted we just went to the movie theatre- Le Cezanne- and saw Qu'est ce qu'on a fait au Bon Dieu. The film wasn't too great but it was a relaxed way to take in more culture so, it was a good time.
Saturday we climbed Saint Victoire! We see this mountain everyday from our dorm and now we can look at it and say, "I was on top of that mountain." We came, we saw, we conquered. I actually enjoyed hiking a lot more than I expected. I know, everyone back at home is shocked that I would ever do that. Trust me, I'm shocked too. Seeing my city and the surrounding area was such a beautiful experience though and it was worth all the sweat.
Today Matt and I went down to the produce market and I bought the best grapes I've ever tasted (grown in Provence, of course) and goat cheese with the herbs of Provence, along with other delicious foods. I'm in food heaven.
As far as new foods/drinks for the week I've had a crêpe stuffed with spinach, mushroom and cheese, a chicken sandwich with peppers, onions and french fries, a salmon and spinach quiche, chocolate croissants and 3 different interesting beers: Picon, Grimbergen, and Grimm Rouge.
I've noticed here that the food portions are outrageous. Everyone remarks on how much food you get in the states but I've never been able to completely finish a meal I buy here. It's not a bad thing, but I feel so very wasteful!!
However, I feel comfortable here now. I know where I'm going (most of time), I'm not terrified of ordering at a restaurant, and I can get handle the high temperatures. Just wish me luck with my terrifying advanced level courses. Here's to another week.
This week I went to classes and chose which electives I wanted to take. After the placement testing I was placed in level B2+, which is apparently very advanced. I didn't realize how advanced my level was until I started classes and learned that three of my fellow classmates are former French teachers. YEA. There are THREE Madame Query's taking my class with me. A few other students in my level have been living in France for several years; My friend Sarah and I are the youngest students. Obviously, the language classes are terrifying. I do not feel like I belong in such an advanced level, but that's where I was placed so I feel like I'm probably supposed to be there, right? I can understand the majority of everything, I just can't respond quick enough with the right words. We'll see how next week goes.
Other than classes, I've had another week of culture and bliss. I don't have classes on Fridays, so this past Thursday night I went out with a group of friends. There was a club reserved for the Fac de Lettres (my campus) so we got cheap tickets to get in. Oh, before the club (which was exactly what you expect: bright lights, loud music, french DJ yelling into a microphone every ten minutes) we all went to this bar that sells shots that are lit on fire. I don't even know what alcohol was in it but there was a lemon on top with honey and burnt sugar and you drink it through a straw. That was pretty cool...it was a fun night. Friday night since we were so exhausted we just went to the movie theatre- Le Cezanne- and saw Qu'est ce qu'on a fait au Bon Dieu. The film wasn't too great but it was a relaxed way to take in more culture so, it was a good time.
Saturday we climbed Saint Victoire! We see this mountain everyday from our dorm and now we can look at it and say, "I was on top of that mountain." We came, we saw, we conquered. I actually enjoyed hiking a lot more than I expected. I know, everyone back at home is shocked that I would ever do that. Trust me, I'm shocked too. Seeing my city and the surrounding area was such a beautiful experience though and it was worth all the sweat.
Today Matt and I went down to the produce market and I bought the best grapes I've ever tasted (grown in Provence, of course) and goat cheese with the herbs of Provence, along with other delicious foods. I'm in food heaven.
As far as new foods/drinks for the week I've had a crêpe stuffed with spinach, mushroom and cheese, a chicken sandwich with peppers, onions and french fries, a salmon and spinach quiche, chocolate croissants and 3 different interesting beers: Picon, Grimbergen, and Grimm Rouge.
I've noticed here that the food portions are outrageous. Everyone remarks on how much food you get in the states but I've never been able to completely finish a meal I buy here. It's not a bad thing, but I feel so very wasteful!!
However, I feel comfortable here now. I know where I'm going (most of time), I'm not terrified of ordering at a restaurant, and I can get handle the high temperatures. Just wish me luck with my terrifying advanced level courses. Here's to another week.
Sunday, September 14, 2014
"Say something in French!"... "Quelque chose en français"
I have completed my first week here in Aix-en-Provence and I've got to say, it's much better than I anticipated.
The first day here was absolutely exhausting. As soon as I got off the plane I was harassed by the girls who picked me up to speak french. Then when I tried to, they criticized me, in french, right next to me! They didn't realize how long I'd been studying the language because I understood every word they said. I heard them loud and clear; so I quit talking. When I arrived at my dorm I had a small mental breakdown because my suitcases were so large and my room is so small and I was SO hot and sweaty that I couldn't think straight and so I just took a cold shower, stepped over my suitcases, dug through my luggage for clothes, and laid down and just cried. Obviously I was only overwhelmed but I just kept thinking, "I hate this place, I hate this cramped, sweaty, dirty place. (dirty referring to the dirt road that leads up to my dorm) Eventually I calmed down and unpacked and felt 80% better, but then just lonely and sad so I took about an hour and a half nap when I had a knock on my door. It was a friend of mine that I met at the Embassy, inviting me to go get a drink! It was in that moment that I realized that nothing is ever as bad as it seems and you can't ever be as truly alone as you feel. (Side note: I ordered my very first legal alcoholic beverage that night- a mojito. I felt très cool.)
As the days went by this week, I got more and more used to the heat, used to walking up and down hills, and used to having absolutely no food in my dorm because the grocery store is a twenty minute walk away and everything costs un bras et une jambe. I literally eat bread and cheese continuously throughout the day.
However, I will speak of the delicious foods that I have gotten to eat thus far. For starters, there's a cheap food stand down the road (sort of) from my dorm that I've bought excellent sandwiches from. One being Mozzarella cheese with egg and tomato, and another being goat cheese with balsamic and tomato and spinach. Both of these being on a whole baguette. See what I mean about the bread and cheese thing? But who can complain? Another great thing I've eaten was a pork paté made in Corsica. I swear to you it was like something I couldn't explain. So amazing, now I'm craving...no rhyme intended. Another thing- myself and two friends went to a nice restaurant Friday night and got croque-madames and croque-parisiens. The croque-parisien had ham, tomato, mozzarella cheese, and pesto. My mouth is watering thinking about it! Oh my goodness. One thing I'm slightly disappointed in is the pizza here. I haven't found a pizza that I liked much here yet.
Another question I will approach is, "Do you drink a lot of alcohol there?" The answer really depends on your view of "a lot." Yes, I have a drink a day; whether it's a glass of wine or beer or a yummy mixed drink, hell yes I do. There are a few very cheap bars around here that I take advantage of. You can get a glass of rosé for a Euro and a bottle of 1664 for 2. It's a great place, Aix-en-Provence.
As far as traveling, I have only left Aix once thus far. I visited a small town named Ciotat and relaxed on the beach at the Mediterranean coast. It's seriously SO beautiful. I feel so lucky to be surrounded by such beauty. Even the topless sun bathers are beautiful. You know, you'd expect it to be kind of gross or distracting, but it's beautiful!
This country is rather...different, and there are a few things I don't like too well, but all in all I can't get over the beauty.
The first day here was absolutely exhausting. As soon as I got off the plane I was harassed by the girls who picked me up to speak french. Then when I tried to, they criticized me, in french, right next to me! They didn't realize how long I'd been studying the language because I understood every word they said. I heard them loud and clear; so I quit talking. When I arrived at my dorm I had a small mental breakdown because my suitcases were so large and my room is so small and I was SO hot and sweaty that I couldn't think straight and so I just took a cold shower, stepped over my suitcases, dug through my luggage for clothes, and laid down and just cried. Obviously I was only overwhelmed but I just kept thinking, "I hate this place, I hate this cramped, sweaty, dirty place. (dirty referring to the dirt road that leads up to my dorm) Eventually I calmed down and unpacked and felt 80% better, but then just lonely and sad so I took about an hour and a half nap when I had a knock on my door. It was a friend of mine that I met at the Embassy, inviting me to go get a drink! It was in that moment that I realized that nothing is ever as bad as it seems and you can't ever be as truly alone as you feel. (Side note: I ordered my very first legal alcoholic beverage that night- a mojito. I felt très cool.)
As the days went by this week, I got more and more used to the heat, used to walking up and down hills, and used to having absolutely no food in my dorm because the grocery store is a twenty minute walk away and everything costs un bras et une jambe. I literally eat bread and cheese continuously throughout the day.
However, I will speak of the delicious foods that I have gotten to eat thus far. For starters, there's a cheap food stand down the road (sort of) from my dorm that I've bought excellent sandwiches from. One being Mozzarella cheese with egg and tomato, and another being goat cheese with balsamic and tomato and spinach. Both of these being on a whole baguette. See what I mean about the bread and cheese thing? But who can complain? Another great thing I've eaten was a pork paté made in Corsica. I swear to you it was like something I couldn't explain. So amazing, now I'm craving...no rhyme intended. Another thing- myself and two friends went to a nice restaurant Friday night and got croque-madames and croque-parisiens. The croque-parisien had ham, tomato, mozzarella cheese, and pesto. My mouth is watering thinking about it! Oh my goodness. One thing I'm slightly disappointed in is the pizza here. I haven't found a pizza that I liked much here yet.
Another question I will approach is, "Do you drink a lot of alcohol there?" The answer really depends on your view of "a lot." Yes, I have a drink a day; whether it's a glass of wine or beer or a yummy mixed drink, hell yes I do. There are a few very cheap bars around here that I take advantage of. You can get a glass of rosé for a Euro and a bottle of 1664 for 2. It's a great place, Aix-en-Provence.
As far as traveling, I have only left Aix once thus far. I visited a small town named Ciotat and relaxed on the beach at the Mediterranean coast. It's seriously SO beautiful. I feel so lucky to be surrounded by such beauty. Even the topless sun bathers are beautiful. You know, you'd expect it to be kind of gross or distracting, but it's beautiful!
This country is rather...different, and there are a few things I don't like too well, but all in all I can't get over the beauty.
Friday, September 5, 2014
I'm just a Poe girl, from a Poe family
This morning while I drank my coffee I decided to stimulate my brain reading some of my favorite poetry. Reading the works of great poets inspired me to write again (which I haven't done or at least made known since high school).... So here's a poem. I'm no Robert Frost but I like to have fun with words.
Untitled
Sometimes the world moves so fast
And the days we greatly long for pass
And within a blink of time we sit, we bore upon the hourglass
Each grain of sand becomes a dream
In which we no longer esteem
Dropping one by one, below the hourglass we so endlessly beam
These aspirations become wraiths
In a body of people losing faith
We lose our grip within our minds and with ourselves, cannot relate
Life takes a hold and sucks us in
Our passions lost in its whirlwind
We must step back and take a breath and let our dreams begin
For we may not ever know the bliss of letting our hearts win
Untitled
Sometimes the world moves so fast
And the days we greatly long for pass
And within a blink of time we sit, we bore upon the hourglass
Each grain of sand becomes a dream
In which we no longer esteem
Dropping one by one, below the hourglass we so endlessly beam
These aspirations become wraiths
In a body of people losing faith
We lose our grip within our minds and with ourselves, cannot relate
Life takes a hold and sucks us in
Our passions lost in its whirlwind
We must step back and take a breath and let our dreams begin
For we may not ever know the bliss of letting our hearts win
Friday, August 29, 2014
Reasons why I'm not a gym rat
My whole life up until I graduated high school, I was relatively active. Actually I'd say I was very active...with dance lessons and tumbling classes up to 4 or 5 days a week. Therefore I never had a problem with "being in shape" but when I went to college I had to quit dance and gymnastics and instead go to school full time. I haven't had much exercise since high school and it's been killing me. So today I decided to go to the gym and do some sort of cardio. I thought it would be smart to try and not die at age 25 of heart disease. However I had the absolute worst experience of my life. So, I've decided that there are many factors behind why I'm not into the whole physical fitness trend that everyone else is into and here they are:
1. Motivation: I feel like I'm highly motivated to do a lot of things but not when it comes to working out. If I can actually talk myself into going to the gym it will probably take about 3 days of nagging myself.
2. Once I've finally decided to go to the gym, I have this small freak out in my mind that I have absolutely nothing to wear. Don't even say it- I know that's an idiotic thing to worry about. No one cares what you're wearing. However I picture myself walking into the gym and it's full of all these fit girls in spandex and buff dudes in cut offs and I'm over here wearing soffee shorts and a sorority tank top. I look like a joke- actually I am a joke because I have no idea what I'm doing so I feel like if I can dress the part, I can look the part.
3. Sort of along the same lines as #2 but the gym sort of requires gym shoes and I don't own a single pair...so whattup converse.
4. When I actually get to the gym I have no clue where to go so I'm like "I know how to work a treadmill" and then I fast-walk with the ramp on the highest it will go in order to burn more calories so that I feel accomplished but ultimately I leave the gym feeling dizzy, nauseated, and with the worst head ache of my entire life. My hypochondria is yelling at me the whole way home, "YOURE HAVING A STROKE ZOË CALL 911"
So in conclusion, I have literally no idea why people get joy out of doing cardio.
1. Motivation: I feel like I'm highly motivated to do a lot of things but not when it comes to working out. If I can actually talk myself into going to the gym it will probably take about 3 days of nagging myself.
2. Once I've finally decided to go to the gym, I have this small freak out in my mind that I have absolutely nothing to wear. Don't even say it- I know that's an idiotic thing to worry about. No one cares what you're wearing. However I picture myself walking into the gym and it's full of all these fit girls in spandex and buff dudes in cut offs and I'm over here wearing soffee shorts and a sorority tank top. I look like a joke- actually I am a joke because I have no idea what I'm doing so I feel like if I can dress the part, I can look the part.
3. Sort of along the same lines as #2 but the gym sort of requires gym shoes and I don't own a single pair...so whattup converse.
4. When I actually get to the gym I have no clue where to go so I'm like "I know how to work a treadmill" and then I fast-walk with the ramp on the highest it will go in order to burn more calories so that I feel accomplished but ultimately I leave the gym feeling dizzy, nauseated, and with the worst head ache of my entire life. My hypochondria is yelling at me the whole way home, "YOURE HAVING A STROKE ZOË CALL 911"
So in conclusion, I have literally no idea why people get joy out of doing cardio.
Thursday, August 28, 2014
If you must know...
So I've decided to approach a personal situation, publicly, so that I don't have to answer this awkward question anymore. Yes, I'm going to France. What day am I leaving? September 7th. What day am I coming back? June 20th. Am I going to be continuing with my current relationship while I'm overseas for a year? The answer is an obvious "yes."
Honestly, every repetitive question is irritating but the last one is the most aggravating of all. First of all- that's kind of personal, so if you're not a close family member or friend, it's really none of your business. Secondly- now that I've made it clear to you that no, my boyfriend and I are not breaking up just because I'll be gone ten months, let me explain to you how stupid of a question that is.
Ask yourself this- if you devoted your time, attention, and emotions to a person for half a year, would you want to just end that because you'll be farther away from said person? No, probably not. That would mean that I wasted all my time and his becoming closer and more attached to each other just to leave it all behind. No one would choose to do that.
And another thing- I'm not stupid enough to get into a relationship that I don't see continuing into the future. I wouldn't have dated anyone before I left if I didn't think it was worth it.
"But Zoë, how can you trust someone that's across the ocean from you?" Well, I just do. I know that from past blog entries it's apparent to the public that I was inadvertently raised to believe that love never lasts and that people are selfish but this time around I'm believing differently...and instead of everyone doubting that I'm serious, they should be glad I've found someone who can change my pessimistic outlook on relationships.
So there you have it internet: I'm an open book for you to read. Now, stop asking me idiotic questions.
Honestly, every repetitive question is irritating but the last one is the most aggravating of all. First of all- that's kind of personal, so if you're not a close family member or friend, it's really none of your business. Secondly- now that I've made it clear to you that no, my boyfriend and I are not breaking up just because I'll be gone ten months, let me explain to you how stupid of a question that is.
Ask yourself this- if you devoted your time, attention, and emotions to a person for half a year, would you want to just end that because you'll be farther away from said person? No, probably not. That would mean that I wasted all my time and his becoming closer and more attached to each other just to leave it all behind. No one would choose to do that.
And another thing- I'm not stupid enough to get into a relationship that I don't see continuing into the future. I wouldn't have dated anyone before I left if I didn't think it was worth it.
"But Zoë, how can you trust someone that's across the ocean from you?" Well, I just do. I know that from past blog entries it's apparent to the public that I was inadvertently raised to believe that love never lasts and that people are selfish but this time around I'm believing differently...and instead of everyone doubting that I'm serious, they should be glad I've found someone who can change my pessimistic outlook on relationships.
So there you have it internet: I'm an open book for you to read. Now, stop asking me idiotic questions.
Wednesday, August 13, 2014
My reoccurring bad dreams
So lately I've been having these bad dreams that lead to me waking up feeling like absolute shit. These are worse than the usual "nightmares" because they're much more realistic. They always end up being one of the two scenarios:
1. It's the beginning of the school year. It's not specified whether I'm in high school or college because the school halls switch back and forth between resembling the halls of Lincoln High School and the hallways of various buildings at USI. However, the same thing happens in every dream. I'm always unaware that I'm signed up for a certain class (it's usually English class for some reason) so I miss the first day. When I find out that I'm enrolled to take it, I try to go the next day but I cannot find the classroom for the life of me. I circle these strange hallways passing classroom after classroom but never recognizing my teacher inside so I just keep looking. In result of my endless search, I miss all my other classes for the day. I wake up with the worst feeling of stress and confusion and disappointment in myself.
2. The second scenario has a little more room for creativity. It always has the same outcome but is caused by different stupid things. What happens is, usually someone that's close to me (a friend, my mom, my sister, ect) is an absolute bitch to me for no reason. Pardon my French. And it angers me so I stand up for myself and I'm sort of bitchy back. Then literally everyone I'm close to- all my friends from Vincennes and Evansville, my parents, my siblings, my boyfriend, my cat, my grandparents- treat me as if they've never met anyone as mean as me before. Everyone seriously just hates me and no one will let me explain why I was initially mad. They all leave me somewhere alone (last night I was left alone in a parking lot at night). I wake up feeling helpless and depressed and alone and I can't explain that my mood the next day was all caused by a dream.
Essentially my terrible feelings the next day are caused by me, considering I'm the one who creatively thought up these scenarios to take place in my head while I sleep. I just wish I knew what caused me to dream this way. I used to have interesting dreams that didn't change my mood at all whatsoever when I woke up and now it's like my dreams are controlling how I feel in real life. If anyone reading this is a master dream interpreter or even dabbles in psychology, I'd really appreciate an answer.
1. It's the beginning of the school year. It's not specified whether I'm in high school or college because the school halls switch back and forth between resembling the halls of Lincoln High School and the hallways of various buildings at USI. However, the same thing happens in every dream. I'm always unaware that I'm signed up for a certain class (it's usually English class for some reason) so I miss the first day. When I find out that I'm enrolled to take it, I try to go the next day but I cannot find the classroom for the life of me. I circle these strange hallways passing classroom after classroom but never recognizing my teacher inside so I just keep looking. In result of my endless search, I miss all my other classes for the day. I wake up with the worst feeling of stress and confusion and disappointment in myself.
2. The second scenario has a little more room for creativity. It always has the same outcome but is caused by different stupid things. What happens is, usually someone that's close to me (a friend, my mom, my sister, ect) is an absolute bitch to me for no reason. Pardon my French. And it angers me so I stand up for myself and I'm sort of bitchy back. Then literally everyone I'm close to- all my friends from Vincennes and Evansville, my parents, my siblings, my boyfriend, my cat, my grandparents- treat me as if they've never met anyone as mean as me before. Everyone seriously just hates me and no one will let me explain why I was initially mad. They all leave me somewhere alone (last night I was left alone in a parking lot at night). I wake up feeling helpless and depressed and alone and I can't explain that my mood the next day was all caused by a dream.
Essentially my terrible feelings the next day are caused by me, considering I'm the one who creatively thought up these scenarios to take place in my head while I sleep. I just wish I knew what caused me to dream this way. I used to have interesting dreams that didn't change my mood at all whatsoever when I woke up and now it's like my dreams are controlling how I feel in real life. If anyone reading this is a master dream interpreter or even dabbles in psychology, I'd really appreciate an answer.
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