"Will you regret not buying this?"

During my two-and-a-half week long Christmas break, I traveled to Switzerland, London and Dublin with my boyfriend.  To my surprise, I ended up spending ALL of the money I had saved for living this semester in Aix.  I came home with 71 USD, having left with 850 USD.  That means I spent almost 800 bucks in 2 weeks.  I couldn't figure out what I spent all of my money on because most all of my food was paid for and all of our planned activities were bought ahead of time.  I was severely confused until I was talking to one of my friends here in Aix about it and she asked me, "Did you buy a lot of souvenirs?" No..I really didn't buy many souvenirs. Then it hit me. The reason why I returned to France with an overstuffed suitcase and an empty wallet - Shopping.

When we were in Dublin, both of us got pretty sick and couldn't do much and we wound up on the shopping strip two days in a row.   Naturally I went a little bezerk...I mean there was a two-story TopShop that was connected to a Mango, next door to a two-story H&M and River Island.  It's impossible for me to talk myself out that kind of situation.  

And that's what I'm focusing this blog entry around.  While I was knee deep in piles of unorganized, 50% off clothing in TopShop, I overheard a couple of girls trying to "talk themselves out" of their future purchases.  It made me crack a smile because of how truly often we say the same old phrases to each other (or to ourselves) while contemplating in a shopping center.  The conversation went as follows:

"Do you REALLY need another pair of shoes?"

"Well..no I don't NEED them, but I don't have any in this color."

"Do you have room for more shoes in your closet?"

"No..but I can make room."

"Will you regret not buying these shoes?"

"They're half off!"

"In that case you might as well buy them!"

"You're right these are a good deal...lets go look at the dresses."

And the same thing repeats itself ten minutes later when something else catches your eye.

The girls conversing were humorous to me because I had literally just asked myself the same questions about a long sleeve romper I'd found (which by the way, I bought).  I have come to the conclusion that this thought process of trying to talk yourself out of buying something is actually more like a ritual to make yourself feel better for spending money on something you don't need.  Why do we even kid ourselves?  I know I'm not only speaking for myself when I say that when I enter a store I'm absolutely there to buy something.  What's the point of shopping if you don't leave with new clothes? That would just be a torturous waste of time.  So quit fooling yourself.  Asking those same questions again will not change your mind.  

I know I'm obviously the pot calling the kettle black, but if you honestly don't want to spend money, don't go shopping where the mannequins and the advertisements tempt you to spend money.  It's that simple.  It's silly to think we have to reassure ourselves that buying something for ourselves is not a bad thing to do.  We deserve a little something every once in a while!

Personally, I probably don't deserve new clothes anymore but..what can ya do.  An addiction is an addiction. 

Another chance to get it right

As I believe I've mentioned in previous New Year's blog posts, resolutions are just cliché ideas that people get in their heads to make them feel better about themselves for the first 3 weeks of the new year.
However.
I have had the same resolution every year since the 8th grade and I think it's time to actually put it in motion.
What is this resolution in which I so badly have needed to achieve for 7 years?
TO GO TO THE GYM.


L O L NO. Never. Just kidding,

It's also not to eat healthy or to read more.  It's much more difficult.

You see, I have this problem of focusing on negative things.  My life can be seemingly perfect and yet I find reasons to be upset. I'm a pessimist, I said it.  "Being positive" is way harder than it sounds.  I can't just wake up and decide to ignore the negative stuff.  I'd need some of Lisa Simpson's smiley face pills to achieve that.
If anyone has any ideas or methods that work....please share. And help me look on the bright side of life.

YOFO: Ode to the Wolfpack

I haven't got much to write about except for the fact that the semester is ending in a week.  This means that the majority of the friends I've made in Aix are all going home.
I won't go into distinct detail, but I'll miss so much about each of you when you're gone, and I'm thankful to have met you.  Good luck on your future endeavors and I hope we'll meet again one day!

Things that make me hate being a girl

If you think being a girl is all frills and flowers...I have compiled a list of things that happen to me regularly that could possibly prove your thinking wrong,

1) When your foundation decides to explode in your makeup bag and then it's all over EVERYTHING, including your hands, which means it's all over your clothes and then you just cry a little bit and ask yourself why you wanted to put on makeup in the first place.

2) If you're a girl with long hair- there's strands of that long hair of yours all over your apartment. Like, sweeping the floor creates a massive monster ball of hair and it makes you want to vomit. Oh and when you're in the shower, you have WET strands of your long hair stuck all over your body.

3) When it's that time of the month and all you want is everything chocolate, so you go out and buy a package of cookie dough, which makes you happy, but then when you've eaten all the cookie dough, you cry because you're fat. Hormones, man.

4) Speaking of hormones- You literally cry about everything and anything.  Watching Dr. Phil: Crying.  Watching a ballet: Crying.  Seeing a plastic bag blowing through the wind: Crying because you're reminded of American Beauty.  Just bought the best pair of shoes ever: Crying because you're soooo happy. I seriously don't go a day without crying.

5) When your closet is full of clothes and yet you can't find a single thing to wear.  There are times where it frustrates you so bad that you just sit on your floor in your underwear...and eat chocolate...and probably cry.

6) When you're made fun of for being "basic," Listen, I get it, it's hilarious how typical girls can be.  But seriously, can't I just drink my PSL in my leggings and boots IN PEACE?! Sheesh.

7) I haven't had a manicure in a while but just as an FYI: Breaking a nail seriously hurts.

What to wear

Okay, whether you've read my past blog Confessions of a Shopaholic (from August 4, 2014) or you just know me very well, it's rather apparent that I, Zoë Cardinal-Wyant, have an inexplicable, irrevocable, insatiable want, need and adoration for clothing.  I can't stress this enough.  I won't go into detail, for it's already been explained in the previously mentioned entry.  However, I'm bringing this up again to illustrate the recent problems that I've been struggling with here in Aix.
I never thought that basically living out of a suitcase for a year would be that difficult. I figured it would take some getting used to, but wouldn't be a problem.  But there is a problem.  I cannot get used to it.
In my eyes, you can only wear the same outfit about ten times before it's just expired.  Actually, I don't think I've ever worn an outfit ten times back in the states.  You just get bored of the same freaking shirt worn with the same freaking pants and, "oh maybe I'll add a scarf" does not give the outfit a brand new identity. It's still the same shirt and jeans.  And not only does it get boring, but it gets worn out!  I'm actually wearing out my clothes!  My favorite black cardigan now has holes in the armpits.  I've gone through two white cardigans already...actually anything that used to be white is no longer so.  I've also already had to buy a new pair of black boots because the ones I had when I came here essentially fell apart.
"Zoë. why don't you just go buy more clothes?" The obvious answer is, "I can't afford to." Sure I've made a few H&M trips but I'll never be able to duplicate my beloved wardrobe at home.  Not to mention the fact that I have to take all of this stuff back with me in 6 months.
I'm just not cut out for living without options.  I miss having a choice in what to wear.  Seems like a stupid thing to miss, but it's real to me!
Also- I'm aware of how selfish I sound.  I know that there are people in the world who literally only have one outfit to wear.  But I'd be lying to you if I said I wasn't bothered by my current wardrobe size.  I feel bad complaining, but it's the truth.
Another addition- I'd never judge someone else who chooses to wear the same things over and over. Seriously, you do you. You go Glenn Coco. I am just not comfortable with doing that myself.

In conclusion, I'm adding the opening scene of the movie Confessions of a Shopaholic for you to watch and maybe you'll get where I'm coming from.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RGcs_WX9Exc

What is beautiful?

I haven't blogged in a while because I haven't been able to think of anything interesting to write about.  Nothing too interesting has happened since my last entry, other than my weekend in Paris and here's a quick summary:
1)Saw sites that I've already seen before
2)Tried escargot
3)MASTERED the metro system like a boss
4)Saw a Wild Child show
5)Saw a Niki de Saint Phalle Expo

Now that I've summarized what you've missed, I thought I'd approach another profound topic concerning the French culture.  This topic is the one thing that every woman worries about whether they want to admit it or not: Beauty.  I had someone ask me a couple months ago what the standards of beauty are in France.  I'm going to explain them, but first I'll describe the standards of beauty in the United States.
A woman in the United States is considered beautiful if she meets these criteria:
-Perfect white straight teeth
-Tan skin (not too tan, although not too pale)
-Face made up
-Hair on point
Additional yet still important- Trendy clothes and polished nails
Okay. It's obvious that not every woman in the states cares enough to always look perfect (myself included) but it's true that most women have some sort of self-esteem issue if they feel like they are not up to the standards of what we call "beautiful."
For example, back at home it took me around an hour to get ready in the morning.  After taking the time to cover every blemish and dark circle and straightening every piece of hair, I'd have one minute to grab a granola bar and run out the door before missing the bus (which I missed the bus everyday anyway but that's beside the point).
Beauty in the United States is based off of media.  One week we're all supposed to have thigh gaps and the next week we all must have a shelf-ass.  It's entirely impossible to be up to those standards.
Now for what I've noticed in France.
Women are themselves and it is beautiful! They wear their hair down naturally, they show their true skin, they don't persistently worry about whitening strips every 3 months and they dress SO incredibly laid back.  What's cool about it is that you know they put basically no effort into their outfits and yet they look fabulous.
I can tell you that my 3 months in France has made me see my own natural beauty and I'm forever grateful for that.  My getting ready time here is literally 25 minutes...and that's including breakfast.
Women in France believe that natural is beautiful and I could not agree more.
However, who's to say that I won't return to my one hour "getting ready time" when I return to the states?  I guess we'll see about that.

We are small

Earth has a radius of 6,371 km (3,959 miles).  There are over 7 billion people living on the planet.  Within the globe, there are 196 different countries in which the 7 billion people are dispersed.
Everyone knows that our world is HUGE, but only in numbers that we're taught in class.
Before I left the states, I always knew the world was something extraordinary and baffling...but only that.
It seriously intrigues me that there is always more to learn about the planet we live on.  Every country you go to has cultural differences: from languages, religions, food, politics, clothing, or even simple things like..when to make eye contact with someone or how to greet them.
Outside of France I've only been to Italy and Belgium, but I feel like I've seen so much.
Italy is gorgeous.  I've never seen a more beautiful city than Rome.  I also did not meet a single Italian that was rude or impolite.  They all seem to have this friendly, laid back, sense of humor about them. Not to mention the people there are equally as beautiful as the country.  Plus there's about 6 pizzerias on each street and there is NO better cappuccino than the real deal in Italy.
 Belgium..WHY DOES NO ONE TEACH  ABOUT BELGIUM?! That is such a marvelous country with so so so much culture and history.  I went there knowing nothing about it and now I'm in love!  Belgians are all bilingual, most are even trilingual (because they basically belonged to everyone before becoming independent).  They invented FRIES.  That's correct, they're not a french creation..so calling them "french fries" really pisses off Belgians.  The most well-known "monuments" in Belgium are the fountains of a little boy and little girl pissing. And they dress them up in costumes.  There are 600 costumes for the peeing boy.  Belgium is hilarious and amazing and I have to go back.
The wonderful thing is that I really haven't seen very much.  There's still so much left to see and learn and take in and I intend to see it all.  Staying in your home country your whole life is a way to feel stable and comfortable.  Traveling the world is a way to make yourself feel incredibly small in the best way possible.  We are small.  We all are tiny pieces contributing to the whole of an intricate, complex, interesting reality: A reality in which we call home.  Our world is beautiful.  I feel grateful to be a part of it and get to see and smell and hear the diversity within it.