Everywhere I go in France, it seems like the french people KNOW that I'm not french. I've had waiters and store owners approach me and talk to me in English even before I've said a word. This is both annoying (because all I want to do is speak French with them) and mind boggling (because HOW DO THEY KNOW?). I've had my mind wrapped around this subject for quite some time but it was highlighted in my brain as very important subject matter today when I was walking into town. I was just walking, minding my own business, when a guy approached me and said, "J'ai l'impression que tu n'habites pas la bas." Tranlsation: "I have the impression that you don't live here." I hadn't said a single word out loud yet today and I was already spotted as a foreigner. HOW DID HE KNOW?! Naturally, I responded as if I was an insulted French woman, "uhh, non. J'habite ici à Aix," and stormed off to a sunny terrace to drink a café au lait and read my notes with serious interest on my face as if to give off the impression of being French.
After this incident I took a step back and analyzed myself in comparison to a French woman and found three tell-tale signs that signal that I'm foreign.
1) My physical appearance:
This is the most obvious of signs. Personally, I have a hard time telling the difference between a French woman and a woman from the states or any other European country from their faces alone. However, something very different between myself and a French woman is our clothes. Of course! I dress very obnoxiously compared to the French. Don't get me wrong, I love my closet and every piece of clothing inside it (perhaps a little too much) but my pieces of clothing would not be found in the closet of a French woman. Heck, even when I'm wearing an outfit with all neutral colors, my outfits are still a bit too weird for the French. Also, another obvious physical distinction is the beloved hair bow I continue to sport in my hair everyday...despite the fact that I'm 21 years old. The only French females wearing hair bows are ages 2-6. After that it's just too childish. But hey, I think they're charming. :)
2)My mannerisms:
You don't realize how differently you act until you think about it. For example, it is customary for an American to smile at any human you pass and make eye contact with. It's a reflex by now, honestly. If I make eye contact with you, you're getting a smile whether you want it or not. And trust me, I don't think the French people want you to smile at them. I get plenty of weird looks from doing that but it's habitual so I always do.
Another thing I do that the French do not, is pardon myself while walking through a crowd of people or if my shoulder brushes against another persons shoulder when I pass them. Honestly, I have never heard a French person apologize for running into me, while I'm over here screaming, "DÉSOLÉE, PARDONNEZ-MOI" because I feel seriously bad for running into them. Apologizing seems like a wasted effort to the French, I guess, which doesn't make them rude necessarily, but makes me kind of annoying.
3)My response time:
If, by some act of God, a French person doesn't assume I'm foreign already for the above reasons and speaks to me in French, he/she will know when I open my mouth.
I'm confident in my French for the most part and I've made so much progress with it this year, but I still doubt myself before I speak. I understand what the French person is asking me, but I have to re-translate it again in my head to make sure and think about an appropriate response before saying it..therefore making my response time slower. That extra 2 seconds it takes to reassure myself, tells the French person *SHE DOESN'T UNDERSTAND* so he/she switches to English. This is a nasty habit that I hope to kick soon. 98% of the time, I know exactly what to say but I don't say it fast enough. That's just the learning process I suppose.
Even when they speak to me in English, I still force my non-fluent French onto them by responding in French until they follow along. I get my way eventually. Hopefully in a year or two when I'm living in France again, I'll be able to tell you all that these coincidences have stopped occurring, but I'm sure they'll never fully stop unless I put more effort into morphing myself into a French woman. Even though I'd love to be French, I'm just not, and I love myself too much to change SO GET USED TO IT FRANCE.
Sarah
